(Your ex and social media – do you find yourself wanting to know what he’s up to even more now he’s an ex?)
Why is it that once he’s you ex you feel as if you think of him more than before? For some of us the post break-up phase can change our behavior – and fueled by the ease of ‘lurking’ offered by social media it can get almost obsessive. Now it’s just too easy to go online and look – to see, hear or read what he’s doing, what he’s saying, who has liked or favorited his posts.
This is personal torture. The thing is that when you’re doing it, you know that it’s wrong and you shouldn’t be doing it, but you can’t help yourself. You’ve lost a connection in your life: a person you loved, who shared their day, told you things that they didn’t share with anyone else. You had an investment in them, and a genuine concern in everything that happened to them. It’s hard for us to let go – for some of us more than others. I get it, I know what it’s like and how hard it is to stop doing it, but I also know how to stop doing it.
Last week we launched our new ‘Forget Your Ex’ program for those who are broken-hearted but determined not to be broken. The first module of the program is how to change habits and contact, including how to handle social media and to wean yourself off constant checking of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, googling his name, checking what his status is, ‘lurking’ on updates from mutual friends you are connected to.
And what great feedback we had from this first module – we knew it already but we heard that social media is a huge struggle for many of us in a modern-day break-up. We want to peek, read, lurk, and check what is happening in his life – and it is stopping us from focusing on our own lives. So we have expanded this first module to include our detailed Eight-Steps to Stop Checking Him Out Online. It’s like a program within a program! But we think it’s needed because it’s a huge block and can stop you from moving on. Thinking about him all the time really stops you from moving on with your own life.
However it finished, whoever did and said what – it’s over. You don’t want to spend more time thinking about him than you do about yourself, and you certainly don’t want to be checking his activities on Facebook or Twitter dozens of times a day. Let us help you and sign up to join our next intake of ‘Forget Your Ex’.