If he doesn’t want to see you (it’s not that complicated, really)

This is going to be a short post because if a man you are involved with really wants to see you, then he will find a way to see you.

Perhaps you are the one who is always making the effort — driving to his house, going to meet him, arranging when you are going to see each other next.

Maybe you rarely see each other because you ‘talk’ by text, Messenger or WhatsApp, or, perhaps you even speak by phone.

Whichever it is, this is the perfect opportunity for you to run a relationship litmus-test.

I know that part of the fear here is that if you don’t make as many efforts to see him, he might not step up and make an effort to see you.

We’re not trying to make the poor man jump through hoops, you just need to help him understand that this is a two-way street. Think about it: if he sees you but doesn’t have to make any effort at all, then why would he have any motivation to change?

If the text-but-don’t-see situation is your current relationship status, you’re in more serious waters. It could be that your guy has intimacy issues and texting helps him connect without having to talk face-to-face about his thoughts, emotions or feelings. Even if that’s the case —unless you never want an in-person, physical relationship — you need to nip this in the bud. Texting and messaging can be addictive, like catnip. It can create the illusion of intimacy, in some cases for both parties, but it’s not the same as having an in-person relationship. And if you want to have an in-person relationship, then you can’t stay in the digital world.

At some point you need to experience each other’s flaws, habits and real-world personalities. If he doesn’t want to see you and only texts, then he just might not be the one for you. In short, if he won’t go out of his way or his comfort zone to see you, then it’s simple: he doesn’t want to see you.  Move along – break the bond and find someone who does want to see you and who appreciates spending time with you.

Want to break the text bond? Then sign up for the next intake of our 14-day program to get some space, get off your phone or away from your screen, and to think about what you want from life and your relationship with our ‘Get Real: Stop Texting’ program.

Posted by Tabitha R

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