The urge to text your ex (DON’T DO IT)

Ahhh, constant access to technology. A blessing throughout much of our lives, but when you’re dealing with discard or the fallout of an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s a curse. You find yourself looking at your phone and you think to yourself: ‘I could just send a quick text or message to check in on him. See if he’s okay. Or send something funny and upbeat to show I’m okay. I’ll just…

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Discard: When you wish you could (also) just flick a switch…

Discard flick the switch

I previously wrote about the discard phase and some things to avoid if you’re experiencing the fallout of being discarded.  If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship then you will know about discard, and how crushing it feels. Because it’s so sudden and so definite – it’s not like a ‘normal’ relationship where someone storms off to get some space, to be upset and to mull things over. The strange…

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Discard – worse than being in an emotionally abusive relationship?

Those of us that have been in an emotionally abusive relationship and then gone through ‘discard’ or ‘abandonment’ will recognize this – you were in a relationship which was chipping away (or even rapidly destroying) your self-esteem, confidence and sense of joy. Then you are discarded, and suddenly you find a whole new low. You’re alone, you feel totally abandoned, and you want to make him understand how it could…

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Toxic relationship red flag: He only wants to ‘talk’ by text

I’ve shared some of my experiences from several years of being in a toxic relationship. There are many behaviors that now set off alarms for me, such as when personal conversations are deliberately and constantly steered to text or email. I didn’t realize it at the time – at first I thought having so many texts was a sign of him sharing more of himself with me, giving me access…

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Toxic relationship red flag: Being stunned then shunned

Does this sound familiar? You ask him a question or make a statement – nothing high-drama, we-need-to-talk-now demanding, or in any way unreasonable. Then suddenly it’s a huge deal, he’s telling you that you’re crazy and it’s your fault. If you’re in a toxic relationship with a guy who has narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies, then a conversation or circumstance can shift suddenly. He reacts negatively or loses his temper, then…

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Stupid things that smart women do (when in love with the wrong man)

Do any of these sound familiar? Act like someone else Test him by creating scenarios to see what he does Doubt ourselves Waste time thinking about him instead of acting for ourselves Daydream about what could happen Create unnecessary drama to get a reaction Become distracted from what WE really want in, and from, life Make excuses for him Spend more time thinking about what makes him happy than what…

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Forget your Ex- holiday-edition (Thank you to all who joined us!)

Happy New Year! I will be adding a post this week about our plans for 2016 but wanted to first say a huge thank you to everyone who signed up for our ‘Forget Your Ex’ – holiday-edition. Most of us who have been through break-ups know how hard it can be to not be triggered during the holidays – the gathering of families, happy couples, rituals and memories can lead to high emotions.  We…

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Break-ups and playing pretend: ‘This is what it would be like’ game

It’s hard losing things. I get annoyed when I can’t find my keys, we all know what it feels like when you lose a wallet, a phone or something that you owned and like.  For me it’s usually a mixture of anger, frustration over not being able to do anything, and a child-like sadness with pangs of  ‘but that was mine.’ Losing a relationship can be a whole new ball game. You’ve…

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